How to Build a Life of Freedom: The Four Agreements Book Notes 

Looking for a book with straightforward, practical life advice? The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a great way to get your foot in the door. With only 160 physical pages, the book is a quick read with digestible and easy-to-understand points.  It’s a bestseller and was even featured by Oprah. But ultimately, its impact on your life matters more than its popularity. I believe that as long as you are on a path to building a life of freedom, you’ll have to master these four agreements sometime during your journey.

Let’s dive in! 

The Basics of the Book

The Four Agreements focuses on four rules (agreements) that’ll help us improve our mindset resulting in personal growth. The four agreements are inspired by Toltec Wisdom, the ancient spiritual teaching of the Toltec people who were a civilization in Mesoamerica.  

I’d like to say this book is more like a gentle reminder or nudge for people who want to get into personal growth. If you’re looking for something more in-depth, you might want to pass this read. 

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word 

Impeccable means to be faultless and follow the highest standards of propriety. Simply put, be careful what you say! As humans, it’s easy to underestimate the power of our words. We can either hurt or uplift others. We can be the source of gossip or encouragement. You take your pick.

Your word is your honor. If you say you’re going to do something, then you need to do it.

Joyce Meyer 

But it isn’t just about how your words affect others. It’s about how it affects yourself. Our thoughts, expressed through words, create our experiences.  To build a life of freedom, you need to be responsible for the words you use to describe who you are. Your words reflect the value you see inside.  

Choose what you say wisely, and no one can use your words against you.  

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally 

Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about me.

Page 19, The Four Agreements

Ouch. Although it’s a hard pill to swallow, having this perspective makes it a lot easier to be objective. It’s easy for us to assume that criticism is an attack on us. The reality is that whatever people say or do is a result of their own will and perceptions.

Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.

Page 19, The Four Agreements

When we constantly assume what people say or do is about us, we assume that we’re always in the spotlight (The Spotlight Effect). Truth is that the world isn’t constantly looking at us. It’s all in our heads, and it’s a selfish way of thinking.  

When people do say things about you, it’s often based on their perceptions. More often than not, people are projecting their feelings onto others. What they say is a reflection of their own reality, not yours.  

If you know yourself well, you won’t feel the need to be accepted. You won’t crave compliments or validation. Having a strong sense of self makes it easier not to take things personally.  

3. Don’t Make Assumptions 

The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.

Page 22, The Four Agreements

We believe half-true information when we make assumptions. The more we talk about what we think happened, the more we believe it. Eventually, we become biased, seeing what we want to see and hearing what we want to hear.  

It’s typical for us to jump to conclusions and misunderstand, driven by a need for safety and clarity.

It’s not trustworthy. 

You’ll only have a real shot of the truth when you ask and clarify. By not making assumptions, we are practicing being present, and accepting what is, instead of what we think is.  

4. Always Do Your Best

Just do your best –– in any circumstance in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.

Page 24, The Four Agreements

The solution to a life of freedom is to always do your best.   

Life isn’t completely governed by chance; we reap what we sow. The most empowering thing we can do is to act with integrity and do our utmost to create the desired result. 

Reminder! Don’t forget that our best can change from day to day, and that’s okay. The highs and lows of life can change the quality of what our best looks like. On good days, our best will be productive, maybe even 100%. On bad days, like sick days, we should do whatever we can, even if it’s 30%.  

Key Takeaways: A Life of Freedom Starts with Your Mindset

To live a life of freedom means to let go of beliefs that limit your growth as a person. Trading old fears for these four agreements will help as stepping stones.

Though the advice given in this book isn’t as in-depth as other personal growth books, my takeaway is that a lot of change happens with our mindset. We need to be in the right place if we want to move forward.  

Remember that we have the choice to give power to what happens to us.  

No matter what, we still have control.  

If you want to read more about self-improvement, this blog is a great start for beginners.